😎 Die An”Aadhaar” Day 😎
Let me begin by wishing an “Aadhar Pranaam to all my ‘Aadhar’neeya friends”!
Today, an Aadhar has become the very basis of our existence. Your Unique ID needs to be LinkedIn with your PANcard, Bank Account, Ration Card (how ir’ration’al!) and even your Property! House that! “The Nation wants to know” said a once-noisy news channel. They want to know about your Inकम, if any, after your taxes. They want to know what you eat, how much you “drink” when you Kaamshet & Gopi and so on.
In future, all accesses may require an Aadhar card - Airports, hotels and probably even Sulabh Sauchalayas! Your Aadhaar will become so much more important than having a faधार or a maधार, that movies dialogues like “मेरे पास माँ है” will get relegated to second place!” It has become an ‘existentialist’ thing. “I have Aadhar, therefore I am” may become the newly altered version of Rene Descartes philosophy. Priests will soon asked to modify the “Abhivadaye”** shlokas (Abhivadaye = a small Brahminical shloka for introducing oneself before elders ) to include not only the name, gotram and nakshatram, but also the Aadhar number!
My own Aadhar card has a photograph that neither looks like me, my brothers or my ancestors! By taking my snapshot, without my चश्मा, they have made a true “spectacle” of me! So much for a Unique Identity!
“Is it true that we now need an Aadhar for getting a Death Certificate?” asked a concerned citizen. “Yes, you are ‘dead’ right” said a Senior Govt official, who did not want to be named.
“From the Govt’s point of view,that is the only ‘living’ proof we have that you are no more…And from October, if you die without one, it’ll be your ‘funeral’ and you’ll have to face ‘grave’ consequences!” he मरमरed! If you don’t have the card, you will have to “Die An’Aadhaar’ Day” said Bond, James Bond (007 times).
Let me end with a quote from Lion King villain, Scar - “So friends, get your Aadhaar card now. It is to ‘die’ for!!”
To sum it all up, “UIDAI before you die!” is the motto!